The hard part about seeing your kid every other weekend is not the long amount of time between visits, – although that also sucks – but the five minutes, the tiny of amount of time before you drop them off or they get picked up. It’s a deep, brief feeling of absolute dread. That this is over and that it will be awhile before it happens again. It may never happen again for all you know and the part of your kid’s life where you have a direct influence on is over. For now. It’s like breaking up with your kid and you don’t know if you’ll ever get back together again, every damn time. You know that you will, you say that you will; but it really doesn’t feel like you will. It sucks.
When I was a kid this happened to me. I lived with my dad full-time and saw my mom sometimes. I can remember leaving her place and thinking I’d see her again soon, but I also remember her crying. It seems like she always cried when I left. I would tell her it was okay and that I’d be back soon, but she still cried. I never understood why. (more…)