OLD NOTEBOOK: You should not give teenagers pens or notebooks
Jan/101
I was going through my closet and came across an old notebook. I found some stuff I wrote when I was in high school. A lot of it is crazy dark just to be dark. Short stories about killing people, suicide and all this retarded shit. I was inspired by some Henry Rollins I was reading at the time. (Who thought that was a good idea?) I am not going to post that, it doesn’t even sound like me at all. It’s funny though because you can tell I was really beating myself up for some things that happened in my life around that time. Here is some of the more ridiculous things I wrote:
Who’d I do this for hey me or you? -Danzig
Yeah, I know it’s Danzig but come on. It’s a good line. And at least it’s Misfits Danzig and not just Danzig. Let me take one last caress dear.
(SMH!)
A page of quotes:
The lyrics of MXPX have got me through a lot of rough times. – Bob
I hope I wrote this because I thought it was funny.
Can’t you see I’m nothing without you? – “Olive Me” NOFX
If the sea was made of whiskey and I was a duck, I’d go to the bottom and never come up. – Tex Ritter
This isn’t the way we planned. – Saves the Day
I can not make my days longer so I strive to make them better. -Paul Theroux
If you’re gonna be great you’ve got to be lonely
Maybe you should slow down. – My dad
You’re out of control. – My brother
Oh, young Vince.
This next bit is apparently a fake conversation with me and my then girlfriend Katy.
-Would you like a soda?
- …sure
- …hah…ok..well ahh what kind?
- mmm whatd you got?
- Mug, Crush and ahh I think there is some Diet Rite. Hey whats with that? Diet Rite, is there such a regular Rite?
- I doubt it. Thats a pretty smooth marketing scheme.
- mmmmm. I don’t think so bud.
- hahaha what was that?
- smooth marketing scheme? Give me a break its Diet fucking Rite.
- okay you’re right.
- Of course I am. Come on now.
- Woah no. Don’t go there. Don’t go big ego over the Diet Rite marketing thing.
- Okay I’m sorry. In all seriousness though what kind of soda do you want for once in your life?
- What do you have again?
/rethinks entire writing career
Oh look, here’s me trying to be intelligent writing about drinking. How original!
When I’m getting drunk I tell these theories about how getting drunk is the center of life. That our own honest moments happen drunk, that our souls are stripped bare by beer. That theory is just complete bullshit. Its not good that I say that.
Next we have a story about my first underage drinking ticket, followed by a made up story about a car breaking down, a black Barbie, smoking pot and a monkey in a gypsy suit, followed by a story about two brothers who watch Buffy (before I watched Buffy) and one goes into a coma, then I ripped out the ending on the next page. Imagine how bad that was. After that a story about a creep guy from Sentry and a (true?) story about this girl working at the chiropractor next door that was really focused on her future. No thanks, I don’t think I’ll be posting any of those. I will, however, post this ridiculous statement:
Someone once told me I don’t deserve good parents. That was a bunch of shit, but I met this girl whose just the opposite.
Honestly, who knows? I hate you, teenage Vince. Seriously, you make me sick. Especially with that awful girlfriend-dumps-you-for-singing-too-much skit you wrote here:
- Wise up will you?
- Its not… what you thought.
- Just what I needed.
- I dont mind you coming here.
- Why do you do this always?
- I love you always forever, near and far I will adore you.
- Stop it.
- Stop. Drop. Shut em down open up shop.
- Don’t you ever get tired of pissing me off?
- I’m tired… so tired… I’m tired of having sex.
- Fuck you. God this is the stupidest ever. This is retarded, but I’m leaving you because you won’t stop singing to me. What do you have to say to that!?
- You’re dumping me?!
- Yes. Goodbye. *leaves*
- Fuck!…… FUCK!… *sigh* One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever see. Two could be as sad as one, it’s the loneliest number since the number one.
- *comes back* I forgot my purse. You’re singing, you fucking asshole! Fuck off! Goodbye forever asshole!
- …… fuck. She’s gone. *breaks stereo& … Fuck now I have nothing.
What a fucking tool. Honestly, I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore. After this I decided that writing in a notebook wasn’t really a good thing to do so I stopped. I did, however, write my ex-girlfriend a letter when she was out of the country that I never sent to here. I won’t post the whole thing here, but I will post my favorite part.
My step mom thinks I’m cheating on you. Also, you like me more than I like you and “that’s like me”. Laughing too hard? I decided I hate your mom and if she ever sends you one of those letters n my house I’ll kick her in the teeth. Four times.
That’s the end of the OLD NOTEBOOK series. I will now burn these notebooks so that they may never be read again.
8:52 am on January 25th, 2010
You are one fucked up dude.