The One Where I Say Too Much About Dating
Oct/090
In the past few months I have become INCREDIBLY anti-relationship. I think there are a lot of reasons for this. For one almost every one of my friends that is in a relationship is not around as much as they used to be. This is sort of a necessary evil to the relationship process. I understand it and I can appreciate it, but I don’t have to like it. What really bothers me though is the way that they change the way that they are after getting into a relationship. You like football? Get a girlfriend and all the sudden you prefer spending your Sundays at Michaels. Your favorite movie is 300? Get a girlfriend and your favorite movie suddenly stars Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson or, in other words, it sucks. You are probably reading this and thinking I am a moron for saying these things, but there is no way in hell my buddy watches Jon and Kate Plus 8 without a girlfriend. Carpenters don’t watch that sort of thing unless there is a girl making them watch that. It’s just a fact of life. So, yeah, not the biggest fan of the whole girlfriend experience.
Now, this isn’t to say that everyone in the world has a bad relationship or that I don’t think a good relationship exists. It’s just that they are very few and far between. I think that for it to work someone would need to inherently “get” me. For it to work in my situation we’d definitely have to be friends and you definitely wouldn’t judge me. To date, I don’t believe that this has ever actually happened. Well, except for that one time that it did. I once wrote a post here about what I needed my girlfriend to have and had these rules within:
- Likes me
- Knows how to type properly, even on a cellphone
- Pacey/Joey > Dawson/Joey
- Not really annoying when drunk
- Finds me hilarious
- Will watch whatever serialized television show I am into with me
- Must love tailgating
This, like most things I say or write, is only half serious but it does have some merit and there is a girl out there that just absolutely nails this list (except with the possibility of #4 (in her defense, she is a girl)). She’s one of the few people in the world that can recommend something to me and have me actually like it. We get along, we laugh and we can talk on the phone (which you’d get if you ever talked to me on the phone, I’m a freaking mess on the phone), but it just wouldn’t work so it’s probably a good thing we never started dating. Living in different states, age and just being at completely different points in life all spelled doom for this one. For awhile this made me sad, but as time went by and I thought about it I became okay with it. I have someone that will probably be my friend forever and a friend that no matter how long it’s been since we saw each other I can pick up with right where we left off. Sometimes that’s better.
Beyond that I don’t need a girlfriend, in fact a girlfriend is probably one of the last things I need. I am trying to accomplish a few things in life and in order to accomplish BIG GOALS you have to treat it like your job. With Miller Park Drunk and my recent foray into paid content writing, to be successful I have to treat it like my job which means that all day long I am working. Then I go to my “real” job that pays the bills and I have to treat that like a job. When/if I start working on screenplays I will do that at night, after work, and it will be like a third job. If I want to accomplish the big things I want to in life this is what I have to do. I don’t have time for a girlfriend and while that may not be fun, it will be worth it in the long run. I mean, who the hell wants to date a 28 year old server?
