It’s getting kind of hard to believe things are going to get better.
I’ve been drowning too long to believe that the tide’s going to turn.
And I’ve been living too long to believe that things are going to get easier now.
I’m still trying to shake off the pain from the lessons I’ve learned.
(I always wanted to start a post off with a quote, makes me seem interesting.)
My “journey” to twenty eight years old was not exactly what I had in mind, but it’s not exactly one that I wouldn’t choose again if I had the chance. There’s really nothing I like more in my life than being proven wrong. For instance on Miller Park Drunk I have come out strongly against their new center fielder, Carlos Gomez, and that is something that I would love to be proven wrong on. It’s not fun if I am right about them not being good because of this guy. Being right about things isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be and that sums up my entire 27 years of life in a nutshell. I have always thought I knew better than what people told me, I have always thought I was the smartest and I have always thought I had it all figured out, yet time and time again I have been proven wrong. You’d think that would suck, but I’m really happy about it. If you’ve been around me for five seconds you can probably tell that I think my entire life is a movie and the tagline I’d have to use would be something ridiculous like “sometimes you have to lose everything to find out what truly matters” or “sometimes everything you ever wanted turns out to be not what you wanted at all” or even, my personal favorite, “sometimes what you’ve spent your whole life looking for turns out to be right in front of your eyes”. (It’s pure Oscar bait and I love it.)
That being said, I think I am at that point now. It’s the third act of that movie and it’s time for me to start putting this whole thing together. 27 was a pretty damn good year, really. I watched my son go from “little baby who pees his pants” to “little kid who talks and says cool stuff, but still pees his pants”, an underrated step to be sure. I opened up Miller Park Drunk and realized that, hey, I am actually a good writer and people like reading my stuff so much that I actually got paid for it (by the Onion no less!!!). I think I did a pretty good job of solidifying the relationships I have with my friends and now feel for the first time in awhile that I have a solid group of friends who actually support me and care about the ups and downs of my life and actually get mad at me for doing stupid things, this is huge (this means you blog reading friends, WHAT UP). I also became funnier than I have ever been in my life which I think is due to the added confidence boost of everything I just listed. The love I have for my son, my friends and the fact that people love my shit (over 44 THOUSAND visitors since February) has gotten me to this point where I am not really afraid to try or say things anymore because I believe in it.
I am pretty excited about 28 because anything can and will happen. Will I take improv classes? Most likely. Will I enter a screenplay contest like this one? For sure. Will winning that competition lead me into having a movie produced? Hopefully. Will I be a contestant on The Amazing Race? Possibly. Will Mike and I win the Lake Geneva Amazing Race (or at least beat Emily)? Most definitely. Will I move to Chicago or Milwaukee? Quite possibly. Will I get a girlfriend? Probably not. Will I co-write a book and have it published? Almost definitely. Will Nolan finally say “I do want to go to Dad’s”? God, I hope so. Will someone read Miller Park Drunk and hire me? Not likely, mainstream media outlets don’t really care for statutory rape jokes, but still! Will I finally stop being a server? Please for the love of God, please.
The fact is that any and all of these things could very well happen. More importantly I believe they will. The hardest part about coming back from being a screwup is believing in yourself and I’m almost there. It’s hard to believe I was once that smiling kid in the picture (I’m the straight one on the right) and I’ve come a long way since then, but I’m not nearly done. Not by a long shot.
One comment
Sure don’t credit Scotsman for discovering you or anything.