Wednesday before Thanksgiving
Nov/080
I’ve been doing this joke for years.
NEW YORK—For the fifth straight year, Jordan McCabe will return home for the holidays and spend the night before Thanksgiving running into every smug and unlikable asshole he ever went to high school with, the 26-year-old reported Monday.
The trip back home, scheduled for later this week, will reportedly bring McCabe face-to-face with an endless string of pricks from his past, each of whom he will have to engage in awkward conversation, and generally pretend to be happy about seeing again.
And it’s 100% true. Tonight I plan to see a ton of people that I don’t really want to see, but I will see them because it’s the night before Thanksgiving and going out is just what you do. I find it especially interesting for myself because I didn’t go to high school with the people I will see for the last two years. So anyone that sees me remembers me from like sophomore year. If you think you people have no idea what you’re really like when you haven’t seen them since senior year, try adding another two years to that. Questions/comments I plan to hear tonight:
- You’re not going to get into a fight tonight are you? Haha you were such a fighter back then!
- Do you still like Insane Clown Posse?
- Hey, where’s your Sandman t-shirt you always used to wear?
- Are you still going out with (insert girl I don’t even remember or had messy breakup with)?
- Are you still a virgin?
- Hey, let’s do a beer bong! Remember that one time! Ohhh man, that one time was awesome.
- Vince Morales, I haven’t seen you since (insert time we did something that I dont remember or possibly wasn’t even there for)!
- Let’s make out.
And so on. The weird thing is that I kind of enjoy it. I mean sure, I’m going to be a complete dick to most of these people for interrupting me and my real friends hanging out but I can be pretty egomaniacal. A group of people walking up to me and telling me how awesome I am? How can I resist?
