A lot of things have changed in my life and a lot more are about to change even more. Goals, jobs, living situations, relationships, it’s all going to be different from here on out. I’ve sensed it for a long time and now it’s here. It is a scary feeling, leaving things behind, but it is something that needs to be done at this point in my life and despite the scary feelings I am excited. I am happy how everything turned out.
I could tell you a story about two people who lived together in a space they didn’t want to be in, but stayed in it because they wanted to be together and ended up unhappy for it. I know that story very well and I have told that story way too many times before, but that’s not the story I want to tell anymore. It’s not my story anymore and I am just not interested in it anymore. I am interested in the story of getting better every day of your life and becoming the person that everyone thinks you can be and the person that you want to be. The people who fill in the supporting roles in that story are important to it, but they aren’t the story. The characters can change because the story is me.
(Is this coming across emotional? Because I don’t mean it to be. I have done the emotions thing and I am done with it. This is about positivity and new experiences. This is about saying goodbye to the life that I knew. It’s a happy time. It’s time to walk on through.)
I haven’t weighed myself in a few days so I can’t give the update on the quest for 180, but I imagine I’ve dropped a few more. Just been eating so right lately. Grilled chicken or salmon with veggies, every meal. No bread, no butter, no potatoes, no sugar. Smaller portions and salads with oil and vinegar (which is awful, btw). I am doing my best to not care about taste or feeling full and just eating what I need to eat. I definitely miss garlic bread. Drinking lots of water and no sugar drinks. I’ve drank a few beers (a few too many actually), but every time I’ve done so I’ve skipped dinner. I think that is the right thing to do, but I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll just switch to vodka full-time when I go out. (And I probably shouldn’t be doing shots, but hey it’s a work in progress.) Not being able to work out as much as I’d like to though. Just hindu squats whenever I get the chance. Once I get my job situation better figured out, as in only having one, I think I’ll be able to actually get to the gym. I hope so at least. That said, I can definitely feel a difference in my life now that I have adopted eating better/positive thinking/exercise and it’s only going to get better.
I’m off for now. Going to only my second Brewers game of the year tonight and I couldn’t be more excited. WORLD SERIES.
Last summer was a time when everything went right for me. I started dating my girlfriend, I had an amazing time with my friends, I threw the Pants Party, we won a trip to Mexico and a bunch of other fun stuff. It was a really great summer and I will always cherish it. As time went by and the summer turned to fall things stayed good but not as great and then in the winter things started to change like they always do.
I had one of those nights the other night where you put on some music and think about your entire life. It was pretty intense and I think I figured out some stuff that I hadn’t really thought about because it bothered me. During my thinking I came to a strong realization that I have a big problem that makes me the way I am and causes many of the troubles in my life. You see my biggest problem is that I have seen way too many movies and I have always expected my life to turn out like one. I’ve never really understood why people didn’t see things the way I saw them and do the right thing in the end, the reason of course being is that life isn’t a movie and people just aren’t like that.