The hopelessness of my fantasy and Seahawks seasons is not lost on me. I know that I have little reason to care about football beyond gambling for the rest of the season. However, there is something I believe in. It’s a theory that each season is not necessarily towards the goal of winning the championship. Sometimes there are smaller victories you can take that make your season a success. A great example of this theory is the Brewers season. They hadn’t made the playoffs since 1982. They didn’t NEED to win the World Series this year, they needed to make the playoffs. That’s why the game I was at where CC Sabathia pitched the Brewers to victory over the Cubs in the last game of the season to clinch the playoffs was probably the greatest game I have ever been to, because that was their World Series. They didn’t need to beat the Phillies, that was their moment in time. It was spectacular.
This season my Super Bowl is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is sacred in my family. We will have a great time. I will drink a case of beer. I will eat more than my body will allow. Then I will eat some more. In the midst of all this is my Super Bowl. Matt Hasselbeck leads the Seattle Seahawks into Dallas against Tony Romo and the hated Cowboys. I hate the Cowboys more than any team in sports except for the Yankees (their recent unholy alliance only solidifies this). I need for us to beat them.
Somehow it’s become okay to root for the Cowboys around here because Tony Romo grew up like 15 minutes from where I’m sitting right now and comes home over the summer. In fact, I saw Tony Romo at a bar over the summer. He was shooting basketball with his high school coach or something like that (basically, someone that gives you an excuse to hang out with people twice your age because you don’t have any friends besides Mr. Belding) and you know what I realized? Tony Romo is a fucking punk. He checked his iPhone every five minutes and in the two hours he was there I didn’t see him drink a single beer. Not one! It’d be one thing if I could make fun of him for drinking some sissy beer like a Blue Moon (I want my beer to taste like ice cream!) or a Miller Chill (Miller Lite isn’t citrusy enough!), but for him to not even drink. During the offseason. During the summer. Man, fuck Tony Romo. People think he’s cool because he’s dated a few hot chicks, but the fact of the matter is this: you have to have chips to play the game. Anyone who is a starting QB in the NFL can date a hot celebrity (even Kliff Kinsbury hooked up with Jessica). So don’t give me that shit. Fuck Tony Romo. Fuck the Cowboys.
Thanksgiving will be the third week back for Matt Hasselbeck. By that point he should have his timing back, he should be the Pro Bowl QB that we all know and love. The Cowboys secondary is weak and he can pick it apart. I imagine the line will be Cowboys -7 1/2, but that’s what’s going to make it all the sweeter. We are going to go into Texas stadium as 7 1/2 point underdogs and kill the Cowboys playoff chances. That’s my Super Bowl, so make it happen Seahawks. I don’t ask for much.
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