In which I win and lose a thousand dollars
Jan/090
I feel weird about writing this post because I know that as soon as some people read it I am going to get yelled at. I know that I deserve it though so the yelling doesn’t necessarily bother me so I will write about it here.
For the past two months I have been trying to “bonus whore” Aced Poker. For those unfamiliar with bonus whoring it works like this. You sign up for a poker site, they give you a deposit bonus (for Aced it was 200% to $250, a $500 bonus) and then you have to play a certain amount of hands to clear it. I have done this many times in the past, but for this site I found it to be completely impossible. I played over 10,000 hands at this site and didn’t even get 1/25th of the bonus. So I started to play at higher limits, no limits to try and clear it. This ended up being a big mistake as my early $200 profit shrunk to a $200 loss. I was down to my last $50 and unsure what to do. I played a few tournaments to build it back up, but then shrunk it down at the NL tables (variance, I am your bitch). I ended up getting away from my game and before I knew it I was down to $10 with a long way to go towards any bonus releases.
Meanwhile, yesterday I am still on vacation in Costa Rica. It’s our last night and my dad and I decide to hit the casinos. I start out hot, but simmer down losing about $60 in the process. No big deal, it’s vacation and you can’t play slots and roulette expecting to go home a winner.
I get home around midnight needing to go to bed to get up by 7. However, still filled with booze and casino air I have a bit of the casino bug. I log into Aced Poker and realize that they have blackjack. Wanting to kill some time I log in and deposit $26. I start to play before realizing they have strategy and autoplay. You set optimum strategy (or use their default which is correct strategy) and a bet amount, then you set how many hands to play and tell the computer to stop if you win or lose a certain amount. I fool around with this for a big and before I know it I am up $100. I decide to raise the stakes and I continue winning. Meanwhile, my bonus is releasing every second and I’ve done more in this 30 minutes of blackjack than two months of poker. I decide to keep playing and see if I can clear the bonus. I keep getting hotter and hotter til finally I am betting $50 a hand, my account balance grows over a thousand. I stop for a second and decide to let this thing play until the bonus is cleared. I go into the settings and turn off the “stop if I lose” and “stop if I win” factors. Big mistake. Within 20 hands, the $1000 is gone.
It happened so fast, it never even seemed like I had $1000. Now I had next to nothing. I tried to get back in the game, betting $10 and $20 on early hands but losing. I ended up broke. From $1000 to $0. I am the world’s biggest idiot. My number one rule of gambling is to set a limit on what you want to lose and I broke it. I ended up losing everything.
In a panic I deposited another $26 and lost it in three hands. Now I wasn’t even playing smart. I decided to take a second and reflect on everything that just happened. What did I do? Where did it all go wrong? Why did it all go wrong? Well, for one thing I didn’t adjust to the swings. I didn’t set my limits. I didn’t play smart or within my means. After much thinking I decided that I couldn’t go to bed losing $1000. I could go to bed losing $999, but not $1000. So I deposited another $26. They have a word for this in the gambling world. In fact they have many. Desperate. Fish. Idiot. Norm Macdonald. Whatever, you want to call it this was probably not a good idea. I did it anyways because I know this. You have a 48% chance of winning a hand in blackjack. I lost roughly 16 out of 20 hands. Things even out over time.
I played it smart. I let the computer handle the strategy and I handled the money in the same way. When I got up a certain amount, I raised the bet. If I lost that amount, I lowered it. I set an amount that I was willing to lose and then I adjusted it when I made more. I didn’t go crazy, I just played and adjusted. I did this for about three more hours after the original insanity. The end result? Well, I cleared the bonus. That’s all I really wanted to do was get that $500 and I did it. Mission accomplished. I did the withdrawl and I will have a check in two weeks.
A check for $2070.
This weekend in the NFL
Nov/080
I made my return to gambling on the NFL this weekend since my fantasy team needs multiple miracles to make the playoffs and the Seahawks need to sign an early 80s Steve Largent, 2000 Shaun Alexander and one of Chuck Knox’s defenses to even have a shot at the wildcard. So, I decided to try gambling on the NFL to spark my interest. A lot of the games I liked, but didn’t have what it took to bet them. However, there were only two “locks” in my opinion. Green Bay and Kansas City, both of whom won. Of course, I can’t just bet two games and be happy. I had to do a couple three team parlays (both of which I was 2/3), a teaser (Rams, what was I thinking?) and then made a bet on the Cardinals on Monday. As well as a parlay of the Cardinals and the over (I was half right). At the end of it I ended up being up about $6 dollars (which is actually thanks to Scotsman’s Grizzlies pick at NBAtips.net). That’s the great thing about gambling. I was like 80% right about my bets, but I ended up with a very small profit because of my greed. If I had stuck the course, not done any parlays and bet more games I’d have been like 5-2.
The Packers won ATS, but lost the game overall. There is no way they should have though because the first safety was a complete joke. In fact, it looks the referee made his own rules instead of, you know, following the rule book. At some point we need to make these things reviewable. Intentional grounding, pass interference and everything else. If it does or could lead to a score, it needs to be reviewable.
In other news, MATT HASSELBECK should return this weekend. He is the miracle that my fantasy team needs! I was looking at stats today and I noticed that Seneca Wallace has only thrown one interception. He hasn’t been the greatest QB by any stretch of the imagination, but he hasn’t given the ball away either. Which is more than Matt could say in his first season as a starter. I still remember the chants of “Dilfer! Dilfer!” at Husky Stadium pissing me off to no end. I mean, sure we might have won THAT game with Dilfer in there but there’s no way that Super Bowl would have happened with Dilfer in there. I guess I’m just a big picture guy. Anyways, I’m glad to have my favorite QB back. Even if we do suck.
Finally, I got an email from NFL.com and they are running a 25% off special (yesterday) today and tomorrow. It’s a pretty good deal and if you’re team doesn’t suck, you might want to pick up some stuff now. Replica jerseys for $60 is a pretty good deal and I think these sweatshirts are the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Enter the code NFL25 at checkout to receive the discount.
Tonight I remembered why gambling is awesome
Nov/080
Alabama @ LSU. Tie game in the fourth quarter. Alabama needs a FG to win, but I need them to get a TD to cover AND win. They run the clock down to three seconds and go for the FG. They snap the ball and the kick is…..BLOCKED! We go to overtime! LSU gets the ball, INTERCEPTION! Alabama gets the ball, TOUCHDOWN! #1!!! WOOO!
Seahawks now 1-2
Sep/080
A friend of mine is in a suicide pool this NFL season and asked me who he should pick this week: Seattle or New England? I told him that this was probably the only game of the season that I was 100% certain the Seahawks would win and he should pick Seattle. That ended up working out good for him, but the real question is: why didn’t it work out for me? If I was so certain about it why didn’t I place a wager on the game? Because I’m an idiot that’s why.
My trade from earlier in the week worked out pretty good with Matt Hasselbeck outscoring Boldin and Grant combined, but I’m not out of the woods yet. My opponent has three Chargers going tonight.