GOALS
Nov/090
I have been thinking about the notion of having goals lately. I have never been a person who plans that far ahead in life or sets goals with deadlines. In my experience every time I have tried, it hasn’t worked out as I planned it to. This isn’t to say that I don’t have goals, just that they don’t really mean anything. Here’s a few goals that I have.
- Own a BMW: BMW’s are awesome, one of the finest cars you can possibly drive. I’d like to drive one.
- Buy a house.
- Take all my friends to Disney World: I have this memory of my whole family (my parents, my cousins and their parents) and a few of my parent’s friends all going down to Disney World when I was a kid and I just think it would be awesome to recreate that experience with my friends because, well, we are a lot more fun. Also, Disney World is awesome.
- Be a guest on the Adam Carolla Podcast: I think I’m a funny guy, but if this ever happened I would have undeniable proof.
- Sell a screenplay: This has been a goal of mine since I was 17 years old and it will remain a goal of mine until the day it is accomplished, no matter what.
Looking at that list these are all decent goals, right? Maybe a little farfetched, but definitely some things to strive for. The thing is if I were to accomplish #5, the rest would be pretty damn easy to accomplish because they are all tied into money and success. Without money, I am not going to get to drive a BMW and that’s just the way it is. Does that make these bad goals? Does that make me a failure if I never accomplish any of them? I don’t think so, but if I did accomplish them all it’d be pretty fucking awesome wouldn’t it? In the end that’s why I set them and set them so high because if I don’t accomplish them I can live with that and still be happy, but if I do accomplish them it will be the coolest thing ever and we’ll all go to Disney World.
SonicsGate and the NBA
Oct/090
When the Sonics left Seattle to move to Oklahoma City I decided that I was done with the NBA. I didn’t watch any games except for the few that were on TV when I was at a bar. The only game I went to was one that was free from work because I won’t spend my money on the NBA. I don’t want them to profit from me because in my opinion David Stern screwed me. He has all of the owners in his back pocket and when it was time to vote on “Is it a good idea to move the Sonics to Oklahoma City?” Only two voted no. When in reality nobody would ever vote to move anything from Seatte to Oklahoma City. Why would you want to go from the 13th largest market in the country to a place where tumbleweeds are a common occurence during rush hour? It’s stupid. Which is to say, it’s all about money. (By the way, the only two owners to vote against this were Mark Cuban and Paul Allen. Which should be all you need to know. The only smart one and the only one who loses a rival (that was probably his favorite team before he bought the Blazers.))
I’ve kind of let this drift and last season I watched a few more games, mostly to see Lebron James. The thing about basketball is that the people playing it are the greatest athletes in the world. I firmly believe that Lebron James could play ANY sport. That commercial where he joins the Browns? That could really happen and I wouldn’t blink an eye. An NBA player, a great one, is the height of athleticism. They can do things that other humans can’t, simple as that. After baseball it’s probably my favorite sport to watch just for this reason. I’ve started to realize that and despite the Sonics thing which kills me to this day, I should watch some NBA. This led me so far as to even look at ticket prices for the Cavs in Milwaukee this season (unbelievably overpriced), but then something happened that changed my mind. I watched SonicsGate.
SonicsGate is an EXCELLENT documentary on what happened to the Sonics. It doesn’t miss a beat and actually covers a few things I forgot about. It made me remember how much I hate Clay Bennett, Mayor Nickels, David Stern, Wally Walker and Howard Schultz. It made me remember how completely fucked out this entire thing was. It showed me, once again, how little the NBA actually cares about the cities they have teams in. Say what you want about baseball, but no league is as ruthless and money grubbing as the NBA. It’s sickening and I can’t wait til the NBA goes on strike in two years. This movie hits the nail right on the head and they have re-affirmed my belief that the NBA doesn’t deserve my money. I might watch a game on TV, but I won’t be buying any tickets. Screw them. Which is ultimately the highest praise I can give this movie, “I was ready to forgive the NBA for the Sonics thing, but now I say screw them again.”
You can watch the whole movie on their website or check out the trailer right here.
Sonicsgate Trailer from sonicsgate on Vimeo.
I’m just a haolie boy
Sep/090
I realized that I wrote a lot about moving to Hawaii yesterday, but not actually about what it was like in Hawaii. Here’s the thing about Hawaii if you take away the beaches, the sun, the weather and everything else you are in an overpriced Alabama. Hawaiian people are stupid. Here’s how you know the Hawaiian people are stupid, they eat Spam. Spam is available everywhere in Hawaii. McDonalds has Spam McMuffins, Burger King has a Spam Whopper and Taco Bell has a Spam Chimichanga. Everywhere you go it’s Spam and anyone who has ever ate Spam knows that it’s fucking terrible. Honestly, I think if you met the CEO of Spam and asked him how he got his money he would do one of two things A) he would apologize or B) he would lie about it. There is no way anyone on the board of directors of Spam actually uses their product, they are most likely ashamed to be on the board of directors at Spam which proves that it’s a shitty product.
Whenever someone asks me if I surfed when I lived in Hawaii I tell them no and when they ask me why I tell them because Hawaiian people will kill you.
Aloha Mahalo Da Kine
Sep/091
I found this book that I haven’t read in a long time and I was leafing through the pages and I found the one way plane ticket to Hawaii that I bought way back when. Looking back it’s been three years since that flight and it’s crazy how much has changed. In some ways I don’t even feel like I’m the same person, in other ways I feel like I am finally doing what I was trying to do way back then.
When I moved back to Wisconsin in 2005, the plan was to stay at my dad’s for awhile and make some money. Once I saved up some money I was going to move to either Seattle or LA. The idea being that I was going to start my screenwriting career. I thought Wisconsin would be a great place to go because the winters fucking suck and I could just sit home in the cold all the time and just do some writing. This, of course, never happened. You start hanging out with some dudes and you just end up drinking way too much like always. I think that I’ve always had some really good ideas and if I ever sat down and wrote them that I could be a screenwriter, but I am a master procrastinator and if I get the chance to go and get drunk instead I usually take it. Anyways, time goes by and I don’t write a thing. I don’t save a thing and I really have no idea what I am doing.
Then I meet this girl.
Work
Sep/092
The other night I was listening to the Adam Carolla podcast as I always do (I honestly can’t recommend it enough) and his guest was Greg Fitzsimmons who is a comedian. It was one of the best podcasts he’s ever done as they clicked great and really had an engaging conversation. A part of their conversation turned to the subject of work and how some people think that Adam wouldn’t be anything without Jimmy Kimmel or how people think that success is more of a result of “right place, right time” than any sort of work or drive. The basic gist of the conversation was that if you really want to do something and you really work at it that you can do it. Being in the right place at the right time doesn’t exist because the only reason you are even considered is because you are dedicated to what you are doing and you are actually good at it.
Now, at the same time I have been thinking about work a lot lately. I don’t really like being a twenty-eight year old waiter, but it is what is. The thing about working is that I used to try and do the whole hard work thing. I worked in warehouses, I worked construction (VERY briefly), I worked at awful factories where they made carpet and another one where they made roofing tar (only time I’ve ever been fired) and all these shit jobs I had didn’t pay shit. I was a manager at a furniture store and I didn’t make shit. Then when I started serving I started making more money than I have ever made and working less than I ever had. Beyond that I was good at it. So now I am at this point where I should probably find something better to do, but there isn’t something better for me to do. I can get another job, but the odds are it will pay less or if it pays the same I will work a lot more hours. It’s not a real good situation. I should do that whole “find something you love” thing.
I have a couple of buddies who I actually believe love what they do. You can tell when they talk about what they are doing, that the words that are coming out of their mouth are describing something they are proud of. I’ve never really talked to them about it, but I don’t think that I really have to. It’s like if someone is eating a meatball sandwich and you say to them “Hey, do you like meatballs?” I mean, what the fuck? In my intense thinking about this topic I realize that every so often I get that same tone in my voice when I talk about Miller Park Drunk. Now, I don’t think I can do that for a living. Even writing for Decider I only ended up making about $100/an article and that’s not enough to support myself either. Especially when I’ve only done it twice (well, twice as of next week) in two months and baseball season is ending. I will never sell that site or join a blog network. Advertising has made me maybe $50 bucks for the whole season. Miller Park Drunk as a career is never going to happen, but what I realized is that doesn’t really matter.
When Carolla talks about making it on the podcast the so-called right time, right place “break” was becoming a guest star on a morning talk show in LA. His big break wasn’t even really a paying job. What I realize is that Miller Park Drunk is MY right place, right time break. I started a funny Brewers blog coming off the biggest season in the team’s history and I gained a pretty decent sized audience in a hurry. What I want to do hasn’t changed (entertainment in some form of movies/TV/books/internet), but now I have created my own “break” and gained myself a little bit of notice. Miller Park Drunk isn’t what makes me successful, but it’s a start and that’s more than I’ve ever had before.