Writer’s Block
Feb/102
I have a curious form of writer’s block going on lately. I think of an idea. I totally flesh it out and know the idea in and out. I even run the idea by other people and see if they like it. If they do, I get prepared to write about it. Then when I go to write about it I just can’t do it. I get nervous, self conscious or suddenly end up hating the idea. It’s weird and I don’t really know what to do about it. It’s pretty infuriating actually.
I do have an idea though. Ideally, this writer’s block is caused by a failure to concentrate. Why am I unable to concentrate? There could be a lot of reasons for that, but the one I choose to blame it on today for the purpose of this post is that I have too many thoughts. I can’t focus on a single thing because I am trying to focus on a lot of things. Basically, I have too much on my mind to properly concentrate. How do I solve this? Well, I just sort of spit it all out. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW. Sounds fun, right? Well, let’s get to it.
Rod Blagojevich
Jan/100
So the other day my son Nolan sees a pictures of former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, points to it and says to his mom “that’s dad!” On the one hand, it’s nice that my son is thinking about me when I’m not around. On the other hand… COME ON! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
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I mean, I just don’t see it.
Twenty-eight!
Dec/091
It’s getting kind of hard to believe things are going to get better.
I’ve been drowning too long to believe that the tide’s going to turn.
And I’ve been living too long to believe that things are going to get easier now.
I’m still trying to shake off the pain from the lessons I’ve learned.
(I always wanted to start a post off with a quote, makes me seem interesting.)
My “journey” to twenty eight years old was not exactly what I had in mind, but it’s not exactly one that I wouldn’t choose again if I had the chance. There’s really nothing I like more in my life than being proven wrong. For instance on Miller Park Drunk I have come out strongly against their new center fielder, Carlos Gomez, and that is something that I would love to be proven wrong on. It’s not fun if I am right about them not being good because of this guy. Being right about things isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be and that sums up my entire 27 years of life in a nutshell. I have always thought I knew better than what people told me, I have always thought I was the smartest and I have always thought I had it all figured out, yet time and time again I have been proven wrong. You’d think that would suck, but I’m really happy about it. If you’ve been around me for five seconds you can probably tell that I think my entire life is a movie and the tagline I’d have to use would be something ridiculous like “sometimes you have to lose everything to find out what truly matters” or “sometimes everything you ever wanted turns out to be not what you wanted at all” or even, my personal favorite, “sometimes what you’ve spent your whole life looking for turns out to be right in front of your eyes”. (It’s pure Oscar bait and I love it.)
A few good pics
Jul/091
I had my son Nolan over this weekend and we had a pretty good time. I think it helped both of us not to have spent the majority of Saturday night in a car. The mosquitoes really did a number on him, but he was a champ about it and didn’t scratch them like crazy. Sunday was probably the best as we watched a bit of Wall-E together and then I ended up welling up a bit when I put Nolan to bed and told him I loved him only to have him say it back to me. Yeah, that happened. I had a great time with him and he seemed happy the whole time so it was a pretty great weekend. Can’t wait til he comes back in two weeks!
Court is stupid and a giant waste of time
Jun/091
I am currently going to court for my son. It’s a long drawn out proccesss. I am pretty sure the first court date was LAST September. Yesterday at court they scheduled a hearing date for THIS September. Nice, huh? Someone forgot to do something so we got delayed even more. The basic gist of the court battle is I want to spend quality time with my son and my son’s mother thinks he would be better off without me. For some reason she doesn’t understand that never in the history of child custody cases has a father been denied seeing his son. Especially one who A) works B) pays his child support C) likes his kid and D) wants to see his kid. Hell, I’m sure there are a ton of dads out there that only do 1 out of those 4 and still see their kid. Yet somehow despite the fact that *I* am the one who started the court proccess so I could see him more, I am the one who doesn’t want him and is basically under attack each time we go to court. I really don’t understand it. I really, really don’t.
So what’s going to happen? We are going to go to court more, we are going to pay this other person money to talk to us about our son, we are going to pay our lawyers more money, we are going to continue to pretend this isn’t going on, there are going to continue being border line lies said about me in court and in the end not much is going to change. I’ll still see Nolan every other weekend for the rest of his life with the chance that the court might decide that I should see him a bit more than that. Basically, it’s going to cost me thousands of dollars that I really can’t afford to get back to where I am right now. Makes sense to me.
I guess it’s worth it though. Spending of thosands of dollars, wasting a bunch of time and putting up with the stupid court system is certainly a lot better than the alternative of giving up. I mean, just look at him.