The NFL Playoffs were finalized yesterday and I can’t believe how hard it is to pick a team to get behind. Everytime is either completely unlikable, boring to watch, annoying to me on a personal level or all of the above. Check it out.
Indianapolis: Peyton Manning.
Baltimore: Ed Reed might be the man, but this team is coached by a Harbaugh with one of the worst offenses in the league to go along with a murderer. No thanks.
San Diego: The ghost of LT, Norv Turner and an 8-8 record? Pass.
Miami: This is the closest thing we’ve got to a likable team (and they have Joey Porter). An exciting offense that will most likely completely falter in the playoffs.
Pittsburgh: Yeah, like I’m going to root for these assholes. I didn’t forget Super Bowl XL. In fact I hope that ambulance drove Big Ben straight into a fucking wall.
Tennessee: Former drunk, terrible country singer (this is an assumption that I won’t ever back down from) at QB being backed up by a suicidal, talentless idiot. This should end well.
Philadelphia: Good one week, terrible the next. A lot of people talk about 8-8 records and how they shouldn’t be allowed into the playoffs. How about playing one of the worst games of all times and tying the Bengals? Shouldn’t that automatically eliminate you?
Atlanta: Here’s another team that is likable on paper. Matt Ryan and Michael Turner are pretty awesome and have probably never even spanked a dog, but when I can’t convince myself that they can beat Arizona in the playoffs it’s not worth it.
Arizona: How is it that there is a team in the playoffs that went 8-8 and somehow I think these guys deserve to be in less than they do? Seattle-related bitterness maybe?
Minnesota: Tavaris Jackson! Brad Childress! It’s the Detroit Lions of the early 90s all over again. Great running back with a terrible coach and QB. This thing writes itself.
Carolina: My pick to win it all. A good defense, a good coach and two solid running backs make to create a boring offense that has a good chance of winning it all. Bonus points for having two running backs who sucked at fantasy for most of their careers until the last few weeks of this season.
New York: Eli Manning.
SUPER BOWL PICK: Carolina over Indianapolis
