We become such worse friends as we get older
Jun/100
I cleaned my room today. I don’t really like cleaning my room. Now don’t get me wrong I love having a clean room. Having a clean room is something that is important to me. It’s just that whenever I clean my room I inevitably find something that reminds me of someone, some place, some thing that I didn’t really want to think about. Today is no exception. Today, I found this picture:
This photo reminds me of a lot of things. It reminds me of the time I thought it was a good idea to shave a line in my left eyebrow because I thought it looked cool (like Spike). It reminds me of Muska, my crazy ass dog with a mole on his nose that we named after skater Chad Muska during my brief “I think I want to start skateboarding” phase. Was he tied up in the backyard here? Was he in the house getting into something, chewing up something? Was he doing that crazy howl he used to do that drove the old neighbors crazy? Maybe he was playing in the yard with Shannon, my big (like 250 pounds) black friend from Philadelphia who defied stereotypes by spending way too much time playing video games. Was he at the house? Was he on his way over? It was probably a Saturday. We’re probably grilling out. Our neighbors seemed cool. It reminds me of Tacoma and this house we lived in. There was so much fun we had there, but when I look at this picture mostly it just reminds me of the photographer and the guy cutting my hair.
Katy, my girlfriend from high school, the first person I ever loved who quit school because she didn’t want to lose me and came to live in Alabama and then went back to school because I came with her. I liked her a lot. She was the perfect person for me at that point in my life. I really screwed up that relationship.
Then there’s John, her best friend from college who became my best friend when I moved there. He was probably one of the nicest guys I’ve ever known in my life. He was so easy going and always willing to help a friend. We had a lot of fun and we were friends from the first day I arrived. He was a really great guy. It’s really no wonder she started dating him after me. I would have done the same thing.
The One Where I Say Too Much About Dating
Oct/090
In the past few months I have become INCREDIBLY anti-relationship. I think there are a lot of reasons for this. For one almost every one of my friends that is in a relationship is not around as much as they used to be. This is sort of a necessary evil to the relationship process. I understand it and I can appreciate it, but I don’t have to like it. What really bothers me though is the way that they change the way that they are after getting into a relationship. You like football? Get a girlfriend and all the sudden you prefer spending your Sundays at Michaels. Your favorite movie is 300? Get a girlfriend and your favorite movie suddenly stars Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson or, in other words, it sucks. You are probably reading this and thinking I am a moron for saying these things, but there is no way in hell my buddy watches Jon and Kate Plus 8 without a girlfriend. Carpenters don’t watch that sort of thing unless there is a girl making them watch that. It’s just a fact of life. So, yeah, not the biggest fan of the whole girlfriend experience.
Now, this isn’t to say that everyone in the world has a bad relationship or that I don’t think a good relationship exists. It’s just that they are very few and far between. I think that for it to work someone would need to inherently “get” me. For it to work in my situation we’d definitely have to be friends and you definitely wouldn’t judge me. To date, I don’t believe that this has ever actually happened. Well, except for that one time that it did.
Aloha Mahalo Da Kine
Sep/091
I found this book that I haven’t read in a long time and I was leafing through the pages and I found the one way plane ticket to Hawaii that I bought way back when. Looking back it’s been three years since that flight and it’s crazy how much has changed. In some ways I don’t even feel like I’m the same person, in other ways I feel like I am finally doing what I was trying to do way back then.
When I moved back to Wisconsin in 2005, the plan was to stay at my dad’s for awhile and make some money. Once I saved up some money I was going to move to either Seattle or LA. The idea being that I was going to start my screenwriting career. I thought Wisconsin would be a great place to go because the winters fucking suck and I could just sit home in the cold all the time and just do some writing. This, of course, never happened. You start hanging out with some dudes and you just end up drinking way too much like always. I think that I’ve always had some really good ideas and if I ever sat down and wrote them that I could be a screenwriter, but I am a master procrastinator and if I get the chance to go and get drunk instead I usually take it. Anyways, time goes by and I don’t write a thing. I don’t save a thing and I really have no idea what I am doing.
Then I meet this girl.
Doing stupid things and friendship
Jun/091
What is the definition of friendship? It’s not “people that you like and want to spend time with”. No, not at all. It’s “people that you like and want to spend time with that still like you after you do stupid things.” THAT is the definition of friendship. To me, people who are really my friends LOVE when I do stupid things. They LOVE to hear the stories. They LOVE to laugh at me. And if they are somehow directly involved in my stupid thing, they are kind of okay with it. They might be a little mad, but they know I will say I am sorry and they know that I will mean it. In the end, it’s the stupid thing that I am doing to myself and not anyone else. Doing stupid things is the BASIS OF ALL FRIENDSHIP. That’s how you tell everything you need to know about a person and your relationship. Whether they laugh at you, get mad at you, try to help you, do the stupid thing with you, everything. Doing stupid things is vital to friendship and I guess that’s how you tell who your friends really are. Sometimes that sucks to find out.
(this post isn’t really about anyone in particular because I would never do anything stupid)
I love Wisconsin
Nov/080
Wisconsin is truly like no other place in the world. I’ve always loved it here and I never knew why. I’ve lived in Seattle, Alabama and Hawaii. I’ve been to Chicago, Vancouver, LA, Philly and New Orleans. They all have their individual qualities (except Alabama, which has none) and they all have some cool people (except Philly where everyone is mean for no reason). Of every place I’ve ever been Wisconsin is by far my favorite. There is nowhere like here and I will never leave this place. Is it because I love drinking beer so much? I don’t know, but there is certainly something to it as this JS report touches on. (I love the part where the guy says ”It’s kind of imprinted in us … It was almost like when I was 21 I had to join the culture.” That kills me. Who waited til they were 21? Nerd.)
“My dad drank beer, my uncle drank beer. It just kind of gets passed down, I guess,” he said as he tended his breakfast. He estimated that over the course of a long day before, during and after the baseball game, he would down the equivalent of 10 to 12 regular-size beers.
Did he know that the CDC officially considers five drinks per occasion to be a binge?
“That’s probably true in 49 other states,” Polansky said, “but here we have a little bit higher tolerance.”
That’s true. In fact, everywhere I’ve ever been a night of drinking or going out to bars was like an event to people. People went out to “get drunk”, I just went out. Drinking comes naturally to me, is that a good or a bad thing? I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. Sure, it might have cost me in a couple of relationships but were those relationships I wanted to have? A part of who I am is going out and having some drinks with my friends and having a good time. If there is someone that doesn’t understand that or doesn’t like that, I don’t see a reason for us to be together. Saying you don’t like me going out drinking with my friends is like saying you don’t like me having friends. Some of the best times, best memories and hardest laughs I’ve ever had have come out drinking with friends and that’s not something I would be interested in giving up. Which is exactly why I am going to live in Wisconsin for the rest of my life, if there is ever anyone who will understand that and appreciate that and maybe even feel the same way this is where I’ll find them. I love it here.