Tag Archives: stupider

nba

SonicsGate and the NBA

DNA035775054.jpgWhen the Sonics left Seattle to move to Oklahoma City I decided that I was done with the NBA. I didn’t watch any games except for the few that were on TV when I was at a bar. The only game I went to was one that was free from work because I won’t spend my money on the NBA. I don’t want them to profit from me because in my opinion David Stern screwed me. He has all of the owners in his back pocket and when it was time to vote on “Is it a good idea to move the Sonics to Oklahoma City?” Only two voted no. When in reality nobody would ever vote to move anything from Seatte to Oklahoma City. Why would you want to go from the 13th largest market in the country to a place where tumbleweeds are a common occurence during rush hour? It’s stupid. Which is to say, it’s all about money. (By the way, the only two owners to vote against this were Mark Cuban and Paul Allen. Which should be all you need  to know. The only smart one and the only one who loses a rival (that was probably his favorite team before he bought the Blazers.))

I’ve kind of let this drift and last season I watched a few more games, mostly to see Lebron James. The thing about basketball is that the people playing it are the greatest athletes in the world. I firmly believe that Lebron James could play ANY sport. That commercial where he joins the Browns? That could really happen and I wouldn’t blink an eye. An NBA player, a great one, is the height of athleticism. They can do things that other humans can’t, simple as that. After baseball it’s probably my favorite sport to watch just for this reason. I’ve started to realize that and despite the Sonics thing which kills me to this day, I should watch some NBA. This led me so far as to even look at ticket prices for the Cavs in Milwaukee this season (unbelievably overpriced), but then something happened that changed my mind. I watched SonicsGate.

SonicsGate is an EXCELLENT documentary on what happened to the Sonics. It doesn’t miss a beat and actually covers a few things I forgot about. It made me remember how much I hate Clay Bennett, Mayor Nickels, David Stern, Wally Walker and Howard Schultz. It made me remember how completely fucked out this entire thing was. It showed me, once again, how little the NBA actually cares about the cities they have teams in. Say what you want about baseball, but no league is as ruthless and money grubbing as the NBA. It’s sickening and I can’t wait til the NBA goes on strike in two years. This movie hits the nail right on the head and they have re-affirmed my belief that the NBA doesn’t deserve my money. I might watch a game on TV, but I won’t be buying any tickets. Screw them. Which is ultimately the highest praise I can give this movie, “I was ready to forgive the NBA for the Sonics thing, but now I say screw them again.”

You can watch the whole movie on their website or check out the trailer right here.

Sonicsgate Trailer from sonicsgate on Vimeo.

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

burger-king-ad-copyYou know what pisses me off more than anything (besides the other stuff that pisses me off more than anything)? Attractive girls working in a fast food restaurant. I went through the Burger King drive thru today and I thought the girl who handed me my food was pretty cute. This is really saying something considering A) fast food uniforms are designed specifically to hide any signs of sexuality and B) I am a really picky dude sober.

The first thing that comes to my mind with these girls is: what is wrong with you? Not like, what is your problem? Like, what is your major childhood trauma? There has to be a REASON that you are working here. If you’re under 18, I can MAYBE see it. Maybe. If you’re over 18? Absolutely un-understandable. The thing is there are these things called restaurants. They need hostesses and they need waitresses. Every restaurant in the history of mankind wants to hire young, attractive girls. If you hostess it’s the same money for less work. If you serve? It’s insanely more money for less work. What’s the downside? You don’t even have to actually work in a restaurant though. Every business in the world wants attractive girls. Every single one, but somehow you decide to choose the one job that somehow negates your looks and makes you unattractive by association. Hmm? This makes sense how?

This is why our world is screwed up by the way. Good looking girls mostly have “good genes” then they start working at Burger King and eating there every single day. Then they manage to convince themselves that their co-workers are not stupid losers (because they don’t make just anybody manager*) and start dating them. It’s not like working in a fast food restaurant does a ton for your self esteem. Then they have kids and the “good genes” disappear replaced by cheaper, stupider ones. Then the kids grow up and the world ends on my birthday in three years.

Seriously, if there are any hot girls reading this (stop laughing) do not work at a fast food restaurant. It’s the worst thing you can do for yourself.

* Actually, they do.