Tag Archives: work

Work

The other night I was listening to the Adam Carolla podcast as I always do (I honestly can’t recommend it enough) and his guest was Greg Fitzsimmons who is a comedian. It was one of the best podcasts he’s ever done as they clicked great and really had an engaging conversation. A part of their conversation turned to the subject of work and how some people think that Adam wouldn’t be anything without Jimmy Kimmel or how people think that success is more of a result of “right place, right time” than any sort of work or drive. The basic gist of the conversation was that if you really want to do something and you really work at it that you can do it. Being in the right place at the right time doesn’t exist because the only reason you are even considered is because you are dedicated to what you are doing and you are actually good at it.

Now, at the same time I have been thinking about work a lot lately. I don’t really like being a twenty-eight year old waiter, but it is what is. The thing about working is that I used to try and do the whole hard work thing. I worked in warehouses, I worked construction (VERY briefly), I worked at awful factories where they made carpet and another one where they made roofing tar (only time I’ve ever been fired) and all these shit jobs I had didn’t pay shit. I was a manager at a furniture store and I didn’t make shit. Then when I started serving I started making more money than I have ever made and working less than I ever had. Beyond that I was good at it. So now I am at this point where I should probably find something better to do, but there isn’t something better for me to do. I can get another job, but the odds are it will pay less or if it pays the same I will work a lot more hours. It’s not a real good situation. I should do that whole “find something you love” thing.

I have a couple of buddies who I actually believe love what they do. You can tell when they talk about what they are doing, that the words that are coming out of their mouth are describing something they are proud of. I’ve never really talked to them about it, but I don’t think that I really have to. It’s like if someone is eating a meatball sandwich and you say to them “Hey, do you like meatballs?” I mean, what the fuck? In my intense thinking about this topic I realize that every so often I get that same tone in my voice when I talk about Miller Park Drunk. Now, I don’t think I can do that for a living. Even writing for Decider I only ended up making about $100/an article and that’s not enough to support myself either. Especially when I’ve only done it twice (well, twice as of next week) in two months and baseball season is ending. I will never sell that site or join a blog network. Advertising has made me maybe $50 bucks for the whole season. Miller Park Drunk as a career is never going to happen, but what I realized is that doesn’t really matter.

When Carolla talks about making it on the podcast the so-called right time, right place “break” was  becoming a guest star on a morning talk show in LA. His big break wasn’t even really a paying job. What I realize is that Miller Park Drunk is MY right place, right time break. I started a funny Brewers blog coming off the biggest season in the team’s history and I gained a pretty decent sized audience in a hurry. What I want to do hasn’t changed (entertainment in some form of movies/TV/books/internet), but now I have created my own “break” and gained myself a little bit of notice. Miller Park Drunk isn’t what makes me successful, but it’s a start and that’s more than I’ve ever had before.

Officially Awesome

It took me awhile, but after years of hard work I have finally become officially awesome. How did this happen? How do I know?

Well, I’ll tell you how I know. You see this shirt?

toxic-cap2

I just bought it. Therefore I am awesome.

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

burger-king-ad-copyYou know what pisses me off more than anything (besides the other stuff that pisses me off more than anything)? Attractive girls working in a fast food restaurant. I went through the Burger King drive thru today and I thought the girl who handed me my food was pretty cute. This is really saying something considering A) fast food uniforms are designed specifically to hide any signs of sexuality and B) I am a really picky dude sober.

The first thing that comes to my mind with these girls is: what is wrong with you? Not like, what is your problem? Like, what is your major childhood trauma? There has to be a REASON that you are working here. If you’re under 18, I can MAYBE see it. Maybe. If you’re over 18? Absolutely un-understandable. The thing is there are these things called restaurants. They need hostesses and they need waitresses. Every restaurant in the history of mankind wants to hire young, attractive girls. If you hostess it’s the same money for less work. If you serve? It’s insanely more money for less work. What’s the downside? You don’t even have to actually work in a restaurant though. Every business in the world wants attractive girls. Every single one, but somehow you decide to choose the one job that somehow negates your looks and makes you unattractive by association. Hmm? This makes sense how?

This is why our world is screwed up by the way. Good looking girls mostly have “good genes” then they start working at Burger King and eating there every single day. Then they manage to convince themselves that their co-workers are not stupid losers (because they don’t make just anybody manager*) and start dating them. It’s not like working in a fast food restaurant does a ton for your self esteem. Then they have kids and the “good genes” disappear replaced by cheaper, stupider ones. Then the kids grow up and the world ends on my birthday in three years.

Seriously, if there are any hot girls reading this (stop laughing) do not work at a fast food restaurant. It’s the worst thing you can do for yourself.

* Actually, they do.

Southland Tales

southland-tales-posterIf there was ever a movie tailor made for me, it would be Southland Tales. The Rock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Justin Timberlake and Sean William Scott? YES and PLEASE. Honestly, if someone gave me $20 million dollars and told me to make a movie I am pretty sure I would call those four immediately (and maybe Mandy Moore if I needed another girl, who btw is in this movie too) and beg them to be in my movie. Yet, somehow someone managed to put those four (five) in a movie and it sucked. Bad.

I recently watched it for a second time to see if it was better and it wasn’t. It was still bad. Some people who saw this movie didn’t “get it”, didn’t get the point of the plot. I got it and I still hated it. It’s not a very good screenplay which actually doesn’t surprise me at all. Some people think that Richard Kelly is one of the best young screenwriters out there. Those people would be wrong. (For one, you can’t be considered a great screenwriter if you don’t understand how people talk.) Look at his history:

Donnie Darko: Beloved movie, which I think a lot of was due to people not “getting it” the first time they watched it. Like the Sixth Sense type of thing. This really had nothing to do with Richard Kelly because if you watch the director’s cut everything is explained a lot more clearly and some of the movie’s mystery disappears.

Domino: I actually read his draft of the script which had all of the characters from 90210 in it (the idea was that Domino, based on her history, should have been like a character in 90210 and not like she really was) and this was a pretty creative idea. Once that was taken away though, the movie doesn’t really have a great story to stand on. It has too many characters and too many intertwining plots to be what it aspires to me. It is my favorite of Richard Kelly’s movies though, but maybe that’s because it’s the one time Tony Scott’s crazy camerawork actually fit the material.

And finally, this movie. This movie is way too long, has way too many characters, has way too many plots and needs way too much narration to explain what is going on. Robert McKee, the screenplay guru, hates narration and in the movie Adaptation described it like this “God help you if you use voice-over in your work, my friends. God help you. That’s flaccid, sloppy writing. Any idiot can write a voice-over narration to explain the thoughts of a character.” Which is exactly the problem with this movie. For as visually stunning as this movie attempts to be, it doesn’t follow the one simple rule of film and screenwriting “show not tell”. If you got rid of Justin Timberlake’s character in this movie you would have no idea what is going on. This movie is BUILT on voice-over. It wouldn’t survive without it and that’s why it shouldn’t be a movie.

When the best way you can describe a movie is “this guy is found in the desert and he doesn’t remember anything so he hooks up with a porn star and there is this other guy and neo-Marxists and this drug/energy source called fluid karma and there are like all these crazy government rules and Republicans are bad and this kid who gets drafted and…”, it’s not a good movie. To describe this movie you need to say the word and about 40 times. I don’t really see how this movie got from pitch to production honestly. Just because Donnie Darko was a cult hit, doesn’t mean you give someone a ton of money and let them make whatever they want.

The crazy thing about Southland Tales is it might go from bad to okay if you cut about 40 minute off of it. Get rid of the Neo-Marxists for the most part, get rid of Justin Timberlake and make the movie almost completely about The Rock and Sean William Scott. Nothing else. Then you might have a good movie. Instead, Richard Kelly made this movie SHORTER than the cut he released at Cannes. Oof.

The sad thing about the whole deal is this is the movie that I want The Rock to be in. This is the kind of stuff that I want him doing. Crazy, creative stuff that could be awesome and allows him to show his full range of charisma, but after this epic fail he won’t do it. Not again. He knows where his bread is buttered and that’s at Disney so that’s where we’ll be seeing him for a long, long time. It’s kind of sad. For that, I will always hate you Richard Kelly.

PS: Sometimes I surprise myself with how much I actually know about screenwriting. I should probably get into that again since I am about a 500x better writer than I was five years ago.

Court is stupid and a giant waste of time

I am currently going to court for my son. It’s a long drawn out proccesss. I am pretty sure the first court date was LAST September. Yesterday at court they scheduled a hearing date for THIS September. Nice, huh? Someone forgot to do something so we got delayed even more. The basic gist of the court battle is I want to spend quality time with my son and my son’s mother thinks he would be better off without me. For some reason she doesn’t understand that never in the history of child custody cases has a father been denied seeing his son. Especially one who A) works B) pays his child support C) likes his kid and D) wants to see his kid. Hell, I’m sure there are a ton of dads out there that only do 1 out of those 4 and still see their kid. Yet somehow despite the fact that *I* am the one who started the court proccess so I could see him more, I am the one who doesn’t want him and is basically under attack each time we go to court. I really don’t understand it. I really, really don’t.

So what’s going to happen? We are going to go to court more, we are going to pay this other person money to talk to us about our son, we are going to pay our lawyers more money, we are going to continue to pretend this isn’t going on, there are going to continue being border line lies said about me in court and in the end not much is going to change. I’ll still see Nolan every other weekend for the rest of his life with the chance that the court might decide that I should see him a bit more than that. Basically, it’s going to cost me thousands of dollars that I really can’t afford to get back to where I am right now. Makes sense to me.

Nolan in his Brewers hat

I guess it’s worth it though. Spending of thosands of dollars, wasting a bunch of time and putting up with the stupid court system is certainly a lot better than the alternative of giving up. I mean, just look at him.