vintown

I’ve been checking out the new HBO series True Blood because I try to give most HBO shows a shot and generally like vampire stuff. Overall, the series has been decent. The character of Jason Stackhouse is amazing as he’s one of the better idiots I’ve ever seen portrayed on television and I love me some Anna Paquin, but the vampire stuff is just…. ugh. Maybe it’s because I’m spoiled by Buffy, but vampires should not sleep in coffins. This is the 21st century, it is illogical to sleep in a closed coffin. Not only that, but they have all these goofy powers like glamors (I can let this one go) and flying around like a spirit. The reason this stuff annoys me so bad is the show has this whole “vampire movement” angle where vampires have “come out of the coffin” and want equal rights. So they are presenting them in a very modern way, but still holding onto the early Dracula era vampire conventions which are just dated. There’s some things you just can’t change about vampires. They have to be dead, they have to drink blood, they have to be vulnerable to sunlight, you have to kill them with a stake to the heart or decapitation; these are the rules. They should stay, but all this other crap? Stupid.

Things should be based in reality and the show does that well in a lot of the right places, but a vampire sneaking up behind someone by moving like The Flash and then throwing someone 100 feet in the air is just not realistic. And what, when they become a vampire they lose their sense of humor? These are the most ridiculously brooding vampires I’ve ever seen. Hey Bill, if you’re trying to get laid so bad how about showing a little personality? If we’re supposed to accept that this could really happen, they should get rid of the coffins and sleep on a Serta pillowtop like everyone else.

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